Long Sleeve T-Shirts

Description: Striking white-on-transparent design featuring “I’M A CONSUMABLE GOOD” inside a stark barcode. A clean yet cutting take on how late-stage capitalism packages people as products. Works best on dark shirts for maximum impact.

Description: James Dobson may be gone, but his legacy of spanking-as-sanctification lives on. This vintage-style tee parodies the golden age of evangelical parenting propaganda with a nod (and a belt) to Focus on the Family. Featuring a distressed 1970s design, belt halo, and all the sanctified shame you can wear without bruising. For exvangelicals, deconstructors, and anyone who knows the gospel was never meant to hurt this much.

Description: A striking white graphic emblem with “Setting Boundaries” in block type above a savage combat knife, and “Savage Revenge” arced below in gothic blackletter. Designed for dark shirts, this high-contrast print makes a sharp statement.

Description: Clean. Bold. Unapologetically snarky. This is the flagship tee for the spiritually jaded, the theologically curious, and the prophetically pissed. Whether you're podcasting, protesting, or just sipping coffee while side-eyeing church signs, this shirt says exactly what needs to be said—with zero footnotes. Wear your cynicism like a badge. Faith’s still in there—just with better font choices.